OFFERINGS AT 45

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Each valley holds rich value*

UPDATE: I turned 45 in November {I am a true Scorpio!}. I just needed to turn over this new age in my mouth for a while before speaking about how it feels.

Surprisingly forty five is feeling very much like a valley ~ a dip of re-evaluation, a faint temperate breeze pulling me softly away from things that, until recently, felt solid and certain towards a more fluid, rolling and unexplored place. 

I had anticipated forty five to be a coming together, rather a crescendo peak of pace and accomplishment than a retrospective expedition inward, but instead it’s transitioned into feeling more like a quietening tractile putty; all possibilities becoming soft and attainable in my hands.

There is an anticipation of change, its faint fragrance carried on the wind with a remolding under foot.

Once more I am reminded that, no matter how much planning we undertake, life has its own script and we must always allow room for the free fall.

>>> Like having raced up a hill to stand, hands on hips, catching your breath at what you think is the top only to realise that the view beyond, rising in its beauty, presents you with many different paths to many different peaks each rich in their own value <<<

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T H E R E  I S  N O  O N E  L O V E  {{T H E R E  A R E  M A N Y}}

T H E R E  I S  N O  O N E  P E A K  {{T H E R E A R E  M A N Y }}

T H E R E  I S  N O  O N E  S K I N {{  W E  H A V E M A N Y  }}}

These hands of mine that are so honoured to touch, contour and redefine others faces almost daily, gently encouraging them to remember who they are and to rediscover their own beauty and self worth now turn towards me to ask the same questions.  

R E A L I S A T I O N - - - If I am extremely lucky I will have a good thirty healthy years left of life and as this rests on my tongue and resonates in my gut I ask myself with every breath: 

Can you accept yourself? • Are you showing up fully? • Will you allow life to flow? • Is your heart open? • How do you love? • Where is it that still hurts? • What are you still afraid of? • Where does the fear come from? • Can you soften a little more?

T H I S  I S  S T I L L  A  T I M E  O F  I N T E R N A L  W O R K {{ Y I N }} 

Seasonally this is fitting, and as it should be, because although we are still in a time of hibernation there are beginning to be stirrings within the soil. Kernels are starting to crack. 

There is always movement under the surface.

Forty five feels like the land underneath my feet is suddenly a little less firm and I’ve moved almost unknowingly onto a more springy and spongy ground. The terrain is softer; like my face, which I also notice softening, changing 〰️ ageing 〰️ 

M Y  F A C E  I S  A G E I N G  A N D  T H A T  M A K E S  M E  H A P P Y

As someone in the skin care industry it feels radical, anarchic even, to embrace ageing in this way; frequently it feels like an act of revolutionary act of rebellion even just to speak the word 〰️ ageing 〰️ with love and acceptance.

As I readjust to find my centre of gravity on this shifting sand of time I am working out how to communicate my positive approach to 〰️ ageing 〰️ What I like to call ‘pro-ageing’.

W H A T  R A D I C A L  P R O - A G E I N G  I S:

  • Having our most radiant, luminous, healthy, juicy, gorgeous skin at every age. 

  • Showing ourselves grace and love.

  • Embracing our whole self exactly where we are with compassion, kindness and forgiveness. 

  • Non-invasive, non-inflammatory methods are used to improve the health of the skin and all fluid and solid tissues of the face and body.

  • Seeing our own natural beauty and shedding the falsehoods of an industry built on flaw-finding; consciously turning away from the mainstream skin care industry which is designed to keep us locked down in a box of self criticism and harm. 

  • Recognising that this body, this face of ours is for life and although it will, without question, take different forms, it will also, by the same token always be us. I feel there needs to an acknowledgment of this before the really beautiful work can be done.  I meet so many who fight with themselves their whole lives; to soften into our tenderness is often the hardest step.

  • There is always darkness.  There are always challenging times.  This is our human experience and most often it is in our darkest moments that we cultivate the most growth. The consistency of connection to our visceral selves helps to ground and nourish the alchemy of our soul journey.

  • Pro-ageing is all of this and so much more.

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W H A T  P R O - A G E I N G  I S  N O T:

  • Pro-ageing is not about “making you look older.” 

  • Having “worse skin”, even for a transitional time.   

  • Running scared.  Panicking.  

  • Professing to be able to “hold back time”.

  • Exploiting and tapping into that negative inner dialogue that tells us we’re not young/pretty/good enough.

  • Using synthetics, extracts and other ingredients which the body doesn’t recognize in their artificial state.

Talking about ageing as a facialist feels very different at forty five to how it felt talking about it thirty five. Ironically, at thirty five I was caught in an aesthetic hyped up blur, caught on a thundering wave of peels, dermabrasion, blading and Botox ~ the remnants of which I still see in the damage to my skin especially on jawline where I particularly brutalised my own face, as if punishing it for having acne there for many years {when all my skin was doing was offering visual gifts to show the imbalance in my body and the life I was leading at the time}. 

This whole plant, whole body, advanced massage journey which I have been on for over six years now enables me to see myself with softer eyes; not always with love {let’s keep it real - we all have our moments!} but with a kinder, more gentle and grateful perspective. A perspective that is all too aware that in ten years time, when I am fifty five, I will be wondering how I ever thought forty five could feel old! 

As I treat client after beautiful client all I do know is this - it always comes down to love.

For if we continue down the path of “anti-ageing” and wanting to “hold back time” we will never be happy. As Maxwell Maltz, eminent cosmetic surgeon and author of Psycho-Cybernetics identified way back in the 1960’s no matter how good his work could possibly be, the women having the cosmetic surgery were never, ever going to happy solely by changing their face. That’s always an inside job.

Stay open.

With love, 

Fiona xx

“our transformation is not always loud, arrow fast. sometimes it`s years later, you’re standing there, when your jaw softens and you realise you’re no longer the same as when you first walked in. where you were once closed, you have now let yourself slowly fold open. where you were once hardened, you have now become weathered silk and see through.

it is okay to be here. it is okay to not rush through and destroy your middle - the place where you reach for the future, just before you shed yourself of the past. each valley holds rich value. each in-between gifts you the resilience to greet what’s next.”*

References

* @danielledoby with gratitude